April 7, 2017
I quit my job today at baka mag-work from home na lang ako. I think that was the best decision. Kanina, medyo nag-panic ako dahil for a second, hindi ko matandaan ang address ng bahay namin. It was hard to calm down knowing that my symptoms were showing sporadically.
Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, isinulat ko agad lahat ng important details tungkol sa akin at naiyak na naman ako knowing that this might be my new normal. Na tipong kailangan ko pang tingnan iyon para sa information na dapat ay alam na alam ko.
Nagpahinga lang ako buong maghapon sa kwarto ko. At 2 PM, kumatok si Mama at dinalhan ako ng merienda. It was my favorite—egg pie.
She asked me if I was okay and I just silently nodded. Pero bago niya isarang muli ang pinto ng kwarto ko ay may pahabol siyang sinabi na nakapagpaiyak sa akin.
"Nak, hayaan mo, ako ang aalala sa mga paborito mo."
She gave me a tender smile, something I hadn't seen for a long time. That moment, I felt like a kid again. Gusto ko siyang habulin para humingi ng yakap pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko.
It was hard to eat while crying but I did. My doctor said if I wanted to live for a long time, I have to be physically healthy, too. I have to change my lifestyle and my outlook in life.
Today, I finally accepted my fate.
And I will live my remaining years to the fullest.