April 20, 2017
Nakipagkita ako sa mga pinakamalalapit kong kaibigan. We met in one of my favorite cafes. Sa totoo lang, ang lala ng kaba ko habang naghihintay sa kanila. I couldn't gather my thoughts. I wasn't sure how to tell them my condition.
Pagkarating nina Diane, Allie at Riza ay sinabi ko sa kanila na nag-resign na ako sa trabaho ko. I carefully told them why and Allie teared up but Dianne and Riza tried to lighten the atmosphere. Nag-joke sila na lagi nilang ipapaalala sa akin kung gaano sila kababait at kagaganda. Ipapaalala rin daw nila ang embarrassing moments ko noong high school at college, pati na ang mga naging crush ko noon.
Honestly, I was thankful for that. I know they want to comfort me by making me smile dahil alam nila kung gaano iyon kahirap. Diane even offered financial help kapag daw kailangan ko.
Sa totoo lang, ngayon lang ako nag-open up sa kanila ng problema ko. Usually kasi, sa akin sila nagve-vent. I was the listener among us and I was happy with that. I'd rather hear their problems than burden them with mine. Besides, I wasn't comfortable sharing mine to people, even if they were my friends or family members.
Pero dahil maaapektuhan ang mga tao sa paligid ko ay kinailangan ko itong sabihin. I wanted them to know that I might not be the same for the next few months and years. That I might forget some things about them. That I might forget about them.
Pagkatapos no'n ay nag-mall kami at nanood ng sine. It's been a while since our last hangout. Busy na kasi kami sa kani-kaniya naming trabaho.
Riza also suggested using futureme.org to write letters for my future self and I think that was a good idea. For the first time in weeks, my chest felt light.
Today, I had fun.
I just wish I could keep this memory for a long time.